🤦♀️ OH CRAP! Where's my phone?!
Oh wait… I'm holding it. And why did I walk into this room again?
🦉 OH CRAP! Why can't I freaking sleep?!
I'm exhausted at 8 p.m., wide awake at 2 a.m., sweating at 3 a.m., and finally ready to sleep five minutes before my alarm goes off. WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?!
🔥 OH CRAP! Why am I sweating?!
It's 65 degrees, everyone else is freezing, and I'm contemplating climbing into the refrigerator.
🤬 OH CRAP! Why is everyone so annoying?!
The chewing. The breathing. The questions. EVERYTHING. Is it them, or is it my hormones?
🤰 OH CRAP! Where did this belly come from?!
I haven't changed anything, but apparently my waistline has other plans.
💔 OH CRAP! Where did my sex drive go?!
I used to want sex. Now I'd rather have eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. And please don't touch me—I'm HOT!
🦋 OH CRAP! Is my thyroid on vacation?!
I'm exhausted, gaining weight, freezing one minute, sweating the next, and my hair is falling out. Is it menopause, my thyroid, or are they both conspiring against me?!
🍩 OH CRAP! Is my blood sugar on a roller coaster?!
I'm tired, hungry, craving sweets, and gaining belly fat. Now my blood sugar wants to join the hormonal circus too?! How many things can go haywire at once?!
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Because “it's just part of getting older” isn't a treatment plan.
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🏜️ OH CRAP! Is my vagina turning into the Sahara Desert?!
It's so dry I can feel my underwear. And why do I keep getting UTIs?!
💦 OH CRAP! I just peed myself!
All I did was sneeze! Since when did coughing, laughing, and jumping become extreme sports?
🧑🦲 OH CRAP! Where's my hair going?!
My hair is thinning, my lashes are disappearing, but somehow that one chin hair is thriving.
🪞 OH CRAP! Why do I have wrinkles AND pimples?!
Seriously?! I'm old enough for wrinkles but apparently still young enough for teenage acne? Can my skin please pick an age?!
🦎 OH CRAP! Why does my skin feel like sandpaper?!
My face is dry, my body is itchy, and apparently my moisturizer has decided to retire.
🤔 OH CRAP! Can I finally ditch birth control?!
My periods are all over the place. Am I still fertile? Do I actually need contraception anymore?
🦴 OH CRAP! Are my bones turning into crackers?!
Wait… I can lose bone density without even knowing it?! My bones are getting weaker while I'm just over here living my life? Nobody thought to mention this?!
❤️ OH CRAP! Menopause affects my HEART too?!
Hot flashes, belly fat, and now my heart?! Declining estrogen can affect cholesterol and heart health. Seriously, is there ANYTHING menopause doesn't mess with?!